William Rushton, Jr. reflects on the Lord's dealings with him

William Ruston, Jr. (1796-1838) was a Particular Baptist of the “high Calvinist” persuasion from Liverpool, England. In his journal on Saturday, December 6, 1828 he wrote the following, reflecting on his conversion in childhood and his pilgrimage since:

This day twenty-two years ago, the Lord first savingly impressed my heart with the conviction of sin, and my need of Christ. And when I look back at His dealing with me, in bearing with my manners in the wilderness, I am astonished at His longsuffering and forbearance. I find that I am at this hour nothing but a miserable sinner; all my righteousnesses are as filthy rags, and nothing have I to plead before God but the infinitely meritorious blood and righteousness of Jesus, and nothing else do I desire. My grief is, that I know so little of it, lived so little upon it, and publish it so feebly and so seldom to others. I want to know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and to show forth His glory in heart, lip, and life, forever and ever.

JTR