Am I really a Christian?
Answering Eight Doubts (Continued)
Simplified
and Abridged from Thomas Boston
Note: In his spiritual classic
“Human Nature In Its Fourfold State,” the Scottish minister Thomas Boston
(1676-1732) lists eight “cases” where a true Christian might have spiritual
doubts about the authenticity of his faith.
Here is the third of the eight doubts:
Third Doubt: I find that my
heart has been in more turmoil after I became a Christian than it was before. Is this consistent with someone who is
supposed to have been changed by Christ?
Answer: There are indeed dreadful cases of persons
who appear to have become Christians, but who later renounce the faith and fall
into gross and open immorality. It seems
that the devil returns to their hearts with seven spirits worse than himself
(cf. Matthew 12:45). Such persons are in
an incredibly dangerous spiritual state.
They risk sinning against the Holy Spirit. They must repent, before it is too late.
This is not necessarily the case,
however, with you. Corruption can be
stirred up in a Christian even more strongly than it was before he became a
Christian. It might appear to you that
all the forces of hell have been raised to try to recapture you as an escaped
fugitive. Such stirrings may indeed
occur in those truly changed by Christ.
When restraining grace comes up against the corruption in a new
believer, it is no wonder that it tries to fight back, “warring against the law
of the mind” (Romans 7:23). Sin will
resist all the harder when it knows this new principle is seeking to cast it
out. When the sun shines through a window
we see all the dust in the house that we did not see before. So when the light of grace shines in our
lives, we see the corruption inside us that we had not noticed before. Sin is not quite dead in the believer’s
soul. It is dying a lingering death. It is being crucified. No wonder it begins to fight so hard! It knows it is about to die, so it struggles
to live.
Besides all this, the Christian
might be faced with more and stronger temptations after his conversion. Satan has to work harder to try to bring back
one who has escaped than he does to guard one who is still a captive. The
author of Hebrews says, “After ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of
afflictions” (Hebrews 10:32). He then
adds, “cast not away your confidence” (v. 35).
Remember that God’s grace is sufficient for you, and the God of peace
shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. Remember how Pharaoh and the
Egyptians had the Israelites cornered at the Red Sea, but then God intervened
and overthrew them (Exodus 14).
Do not let this doubt destroy the
foundation of your trust. Empty
yourself. Be strong in the Lord and in
the power of His might, and you will be victorious.
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